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10 Simple Ways To Be Better In Bed

Published by Vivian KELLY Published on 12 December 2014

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How To Master Sex: 10 Simple Ways To Be Better In Bed

Not sure where your sex life went? Can't remember the last time you did it? Having good sex isn't as difficult as you think. A good romp in the bed is all about communication, confidence, open mindedness and so much MORE. But don't worry, it's easy. Here are our favourite expert tips to strengthen your sexual appetite and better yourself in bed, STAT.

A study of 2,000 Brits found that a third of men wished their partners were better in bed. We're sure it's a similar stat for women too! Either way, all too often we get so caught up in our insecurities or at times, get too comfortable that we forget what good sex is all about!

Clenching fingers, scrunching faces and mind blowing sensations? Sex can be amazing. But the best sex only comes when you're connected with your sexual needs and confident in your own skin.

We know, we know, it's easier said than done. Which is why we enlisted the help of sexpert and founder of Jo Divine, Samantha Evans to tell us everything we need to know to become a better lover between the sheets. "Many men are shy about disclosing what they really want in bed, either because they may not feel comfortable with discussing what turns them on, are worried about hurting their partner’s feelings or believe it might offend them with their request," says Samantha.

So whether he's shy about sexy talk or you've both lost touch with your sex life, don't worry. Take a deep breathe and just remember, sex can be FUN!

Here are 10 top tips to instantly upgrade your sex life...

1. Make yourself vulnerable

Ironically talking about sex can be more nerve-racking than the actual act itself! But by making yourself vulnerable and opening up to your partner about your desires it CAN make a huge difference to your sex life. Samantha says to try and "Open up a conversation about what makes you tick and what turns you on sexually. You may be pleasantly surprised about what your partner fantasises about. Just talking about them with your partner can turn you (and him) on." Be bold ladies!

2. Don't let your body image get in the way

You can be the most beautiful woman in the world, but if you're insecure it could cost you. Stretch marks, wobbly bits, cellulite - everyone has something they don't like. "Men are attracted to the WHOLE package though so try to become more confident with your body. Loving the way you look will make you irresistible to your partner", says Samantha. "Sexy women are not the so-called 'beautiful women', but the confident ones, so try wearing some gorgeous lingerie just for yourself. Knowing you are wearing sexy knickers will give you a cheeky smile all day long." And drive him crazy. Sexual confidence is the key to healthier, better sex. Love your imperfections for what they are and he will love them too!

3. Be a leader in bed

There's nothing hotter than a women who makes the first move. Knowing we want them and not being shy about it drives men nuts so make the first move sex and take control. "Take your time and set your own sexual pace to increase your sexual pleasure. Making your partner wait will only fuel his sexual desire too. Tell him what you love him doing to you and how to make it feel even better!" Also, ask him what he likes and get him to open up. Remember, sex is a two way street.

4. More fun please

Sex is not limited to the bedroom - there are loads of things you can do to make it more fun!

In fact, a study by Surf found that 48 percent of the nation say that their favourite place to get jiggy is not the bedroom! The sofa (13 percent) tops the list, followed by the kitchen table (7 percent), shower (5 percent), stairs (6 percent) and the top of the washing machine (4 percent). So how about jumping into the shower with him when he least expects it? "Having sex in the morning will keep you smiling all day long, or if you're too tired try to arrange a time to meet midday for a lunchtime quickie." If all fails, don't worry, just wake him up in the middle of the night. Everyone loves sleepy sex.

5. Be imaginative

Routine is boring. Get your heart rate going by experimenting more! Dressing up is great, but at times (especially at first) it can be a little weird. Try not to let your shyness get in your way! "If a man in uniform turns you on, get your partner to dress up," says Samantha. Ask him straight - knowing that what makes you hot and being open about it is all your man will ever need to make your sexual fantasies come true. If you really want to blow his mind show up at his doorstep with a coat and killer heels (nothing else). The thought of what he might find underneath with push him over the edge.

6. Read Erotic fiction

Reading a racy book is a great way to get into your own erotic mind and get you in the mood.

"A few chapters from a short steamy erotic story will coax your first sparks of sexual desire and give you some ideas for your own sex life too," says Samantha. A bit of E.L. James never goes amiss!

7. Men like sex toys more than you think

Regular sex toy use has shown to increase sexual experience and satisfaction and can even lead to some seriously satisfying orgasms! Men love to watch their partners have their way with themselves. Hey, there's wrong with a bit of sexual gratification. Samantha says, "It allows you to show him exactly how and where she you liked to be touched. If you are unsure about using a sex toy, why not try a clitoral stimulator like Kinky Bullet or a vibrating cock ring, such asLelo Tor. Many remote control couples' toys are great fun, allowing your man to be in control of your sexual pleasure at the touch of a button". Keep in mind, no sex toy is alike. Be open to exploring the different sizes and the amazing sensations they have to offer. Do you need clitoral stimulation, vaginal, or both? Experimenting with sex toys will help you discover what works for you. Once you master your sexual needs you'll be more comfortable (and confident) to take up your fantasies with your guy. And trust us, when you do, he won't know what hit him.

8. Make sure to change position

It's hard not to keep your hands off each other when the relationship is fresh but once the honeymoon period fades having sex becomes monotonous. One easy way to spice things up is by simply (remembering) to change positions. Why not take control and get on top? Watching you doing what you like and getting a full frontal view will blow his mind. To sizzle things up even more use a vibrating cock ring to help stimulate both of you simultaneously. "Trying a small bullet vibrator against your clitoris will help achieve a mind blowing orgasm you've never had before. Just watching your man's facial expressions will let you know if it feels good!' says Samantha.

9. Tie me up

"Tying up or blindfolding your man or being tied up and blindfolded yourself, using only your sense of smell, touch, taste and hearing can be intensely arousing, and rather wicked," says Samantha. Making your man beg for your touch or tantalising him with feather-like caresses will make him throb with desire and help unleash your inner dominatrix. You'll never see sex in the same way again!

10. Be Confident

Sex appeal is all about self-confidence. Being more confident comes from knowing what makes you tick. Samantha says, "Exploring your body through masturbation, using sex toys and wearing clothes that make you feel amazing can help you increase your confidence in the bedroom." Building confidence sexually is also about good communication. Don't be afraid to discuss intimacy with your man. "Have the courage to tell and show him what you like and what you don’t like. Most men welcome some guidance on what they should be doing and if they are doing it right - the sounds emanating from your throat will indicate if he's hit the spot!" It may not come naturally at first but once you do it, you'll really begin to see the differences.

Top 11 Health Benefits of Sex

By Dr. Mercola

Many people associate a healthful lifestyle with habits that are not always the most fun… like grueling workouts or skipping dessert. But this is a misconception, as many of the healthiest habits are also among the most rewarding. Take sex. It counts as moderately intense exercise plus it boosts numerous aspects of both physical and mental health. As long as you're engaging in safe-sex practices, increasing your sexual activity is a surefire strategy to better health! Regular sex cannot be underestimated as a factor for reducing stress, bolstering self-esteem and fostering feelings of intimacy and bonding between partners. But the real point of this article is the fact that a healthy sex life can provide for a longer, healthier and, most would agree, more enjoyable life. 

Among the many health benefits of sex are:

1. Improved Immunity

People who have sex frequently (one or two times a week) have significantly higher levels of immunoglobulin A (IgA). Your IgA immune system is your body's first line of defense. Its job is to fight off invading organisms at their entry points, reducing or even eliminating the need for activation of your body's immune system. This may explain why people who have sex frequently also take fewer sick days.

2. Heart Health

Men who made love regularly (at least twice a week) were 45 percent less likely to develop heart disease than those who did so once a month or less, according to one study.

Sexual activity not only provides many of the same benefits to your heart as exercise but also keeps levels of estrogen and testosterone in balance, which is important for heart health.

3. Lower Blood Pressure

Sexual activity, and specifically intercourse, is linked to better stress response and lower blood pressure.

4. It's a Form of Exercise

Sex helps to boost your heart rate, burn calories and strengthen muscles, just like exercise. In fact, research recently revealed that sex burns about 4 calories a minute for men and 3 for women, making it (at times) a 'significant' form of exercise. It can even help you to maintain your flexibility and balance.

5. Pain Relief

Sexual activity releases pain-reducing hormones and has been found to help reduce or block back and leg pain, as well as pain from menstrual cramps, arthritis and headaches. One study even found that sexual activity can lead to partial or complete relief of headache in some migraine and cluster-headache patients.

6. May Help Reduce Risk of Prostate Cancer

Research has shown that men who ejaculate at least 21 times a month (during sex or masturbation) have a lower risk of prostate cancer. This link needs to be explored further, however, as there may have been additional factors involved in the association.

7. Improve Sleep

After sex, the relaxation-inducing hormone prolactin is released, which may help you to nod off more quickly. The "love hormone" oxytocin, released during orgasm, also promotes sleep.

8. Stress Relief

Sex triggers your body to release its natural feel-good chemicals, helping to ease stress and boost pleasure, calm and self-esteem. Research also shows that those who have sexual intercourse responded better when subjected to stressful situations like speaking in public.

9. Boost Your Libido

The more often you have sex, the more likely you are to want to keep doing it. There's a mental connection there but also a physical one, particularly for women. More frequent sex helps to increase vaginal lubrication, blood flow and elasticity which in turn make sexual activity more enjoyable.

10. Improved Bladder Control in Women

Intercourse helps to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, which contract during orgasm. This can help women to improve their bladder control and avoid incontinence. You can boost this benefit even more by practicing Kegel exercises during sex (a Kegel squeeze is performed by drawing your lower pelvic muscles up and holding them up high and tight, as if you're trying to stop a flow of urine).

11. Increase Intimacy and Improve Your Relationship

Sex and orgasms result in increased levels of the hormone oxytocin -- the "love" hormone -- that helps you feel bonded to your partner, and better experience empathic connections.
Has Sex Fizzled? Check Into the Emotional Connection


Anxiety, defensiveness, fear and failure of communication are destructive psychological forces that can take a heavy toll on your libido, whether you're a man or a woman, by acting as roadblocks to desire. Stress, too, can dampen your libido and make sex the last thing on your mind (a catch-22, since sex will help to reduce your stress levels significantly). Taking control of your emotions by learning the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) can really help in this area to re-ignite your sex life. EFT is a psychological acupressure technique that can help you effectively address your stress-related thoughts and leave you feeling calmer and more able to face your challenges, whatever they may be, so you're able to focus on more enjoyable pursuits. 

Men, Try This Before Reaching for Viagra

Varying degrees of erectile dysfunction (ED) are common in men and can significantly interfere with a healthy sex life. Often, it is simply a manifestation of stress or emotional problems, but it can also be a sign of an underlying health problem like heart disease. It is important that you work on finding out the foundational cause, and also that you resist the urge to simply pop a pill like Viagra as a quick fix. Viagra does carry a risk of potentially serious side effects, including:

Headache Upset stomach Flushing of the face 
Blue/green color blindness Blurred vision Vision sensitivity to light
Sudden decrease or loss of vision in one or both eyes An abnormally long-lasting erection that may cause permanent damage to your penis Sudden loss or decrease in hearing, sometimes with ringing in the ears or dizziness Heart attack, stroke, irregular heartbeat and death have occurred in men taking Viagra

As far as natural alternatives go, there are many options to consider including L-arginine, an amino acid that is the precursor to nitric oxide, a natural compound that helps relax your blood vessels. Nitric oxide signals the smooth muscle cells in your blood vessels to relax, so that your vessels dilate and your blood flows more freely. This helps your arteries to regain their elasticity and stay free of plaque. L-arginine may also lead to increased microcirculation in genital tissues, which results in stronger erections and better sexual responsiveness, via this nitric oxide mechanism.

Scientific studies have shown that L-arginine can be particularly effective when used in combination with another natural agent, pycnogenol, which resulted in significant improvement in sexual function in men with ED, according to a Bulgarian study. Similarly, a pilot study published in the journal European Urology found 6 grams of L-arginine combined with 6 mg of yohimbine, a compound found in the herb yohimbe, was successful in treating men with ED. Aside from L-arginine, other natural alternatives include:
Panax ginseng and maca root, which have been used for centuries as libido-boosting tonics
Choline and vitamin B5. The neurotransmitter that triggers sexual messages in your brain, whether you're male or female, is acetylcholine (ACH). With too little ACH, sexual activity goes down. One way to safely and effectively enhance your ACH levels is to take choline supplements (1,000-3,000 mg) and vitamin B5 (500-1,500 mg).

 7 Secrets to a Healthy Sex Life
for Both Men and Women

Are you in a committed relationship and finding your sex life leaves much to be desired? Tending to stress and relationship troubles is important, as discussed, but if that's not the issue then it could be that your lifestyle is getting in the way. To boost your libido naturally and help restore harmony to your intimate life, use the strategies that follow.

1. Reduce, with the plan of eliminating, grains and sugars in your diet. It is vitally important to eliminate sugars, especially fructose. High levels of sugar in your bloodstream can actually turn off the gene that controls your sex hormones.
    
2. Eat a healthy diet, like the one described in my nutrition plan, which will help to normalize your insulin levels. This simple measure has a profound influence on every area of your health, including your sex life.
    
3. Optimize your vitamin D levels, ideally through appropriate sun exposure as this will allow your body to also create vitamin D sulfate — a factor that may play a crucial role in preventing the formation of arterial plaque that is linked to erectile dysfunction.
    
4. Exercise regularly. Make sure you incorporate high-intensity interval training exercises, which also optimize your human growth hormone (HGH) production.
    
5.  Avoid smoking or drinking alcohol excessively.
    
6. Be sure to get plenty of high-quality, restorative sleep.
    
7. Consider choline and vitamin B5 supplements. The neurotransmitter that triggers the sexual message, in both men and women, is acetylcholine (ACH). With too little ACH, sexual activity goes down. One way to safely and effectively enhance ACH levels in your body is to take choline supplements (1,000-3,000 mg) and vitamin B5 (500-1,500 mg).

Having Sex Twice A Week Reduces
Chance of Heart Attack by Half

Men who have sex at least twice a week can almost halve their risk of heart disease, according to new research.

It shows men who indulge in regular lovemaking are up to 45 percent less likely to develop life-threatening heart conditions. The study, of over 1,000 men, did not examine whether women benefit too.

The researchers who carried out the investigation are calling for doctors to screen men for sexual activity when assessing their risk of heart disease.

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