The 10 Strangest Facts About Penises
Tracy Clark-FlorySimone de Beauvoir called it “a small person … an alter ego usually more sly … and more clever than the individual.” Leonardo da Vinci said it “has dealings with human intelligence and sometimes displays an intelligence of its own.” Sophocles said that having one was to be “chained to a madman.”
These great thinkers were referring so exasperatedly, so powerlessly, to none other than the penis. That’s a lot of hype for a body part that can “be seen as something the Creator doodled in an idle moment,” as Tom Hickman puts it in the new book, “God’s Doodle: The Life and Times of the Penis.” Then again, our fascination with the penis has long belied its relatively small size (the average one is believed to be 6.2 inches long when erect). It’s fitting, then, that Hickman, a journalist, has written an expansive history of the male member covering everything from biological explanations of its shape and size to analysis of phallic myths.
It’s a well-researched, dryly witty and worthwhile read. But even a history of the penis can use some … snipping. Below, you’ll find the top 10 most surprising facts about the penis — from monkey-ball implants to broken johnsons.
10. Every penis was a clitoris
That sounds like the title of a children’s book, doesn’t it? But, seriously, Hickman explains, “Every penis in the womb starts as a clitoris before hormones ‘sex’ the brain of the to-be male.” The penis “retains the mark of its female heritage: its dark underskin and the thin ridge or seam, known as the raphe, which runs from scrotum to anus, are remnants of the fusion of the vaginal lips.”9. Fetuses have erections
That’s right, and ultrasound scans prove it. “So many newborn males greet the world with an erection that the sexologist William Masters in his earlier obstetric days set himself the challenge of trying to cut the umbilical cord before it happened,” writes Hickman.8. Before there was Viagra, there were monkey balls
They didn’t have Cialis ads at the turn of the century, but they did have monkey-ball transplants. In order to cure impotence, doctors began experimenting with xenotransplantation: surgically transplanting testicles from goats, chimpanzees and baboons into male humans. “Thousands of men around the world in the 1920s went under the knife for the supposed benefits of what were known as ‘monkey glands,” he says. By the way, it didn’t work.7. Red meat, funky spunk
Asparagus gets a bad rap for causing gnarly-tasting semen, but “red meat and dairy produce are said to result in the least pleasant flavour.” I suspect an information-suppression campaign by Ruth’s Chris.6. Ejaculate: The low-calorie treat
Taste aside, semen “contains only one to seven calories,” says Hickman. That’s about the same as a cup of fresh spinach — but don’t expect to see ejaculate added to your Weight Watchers points system any time soon.5. The big-balled cheater
“Testicular research of a more sociological kind has deduced that men with large testicles are likely to be more unfaithful, the converse being true of men with small testicles,” says Hickman. Thus, he advises, with tongue firmly planted in cheek: “A woman” — or man, I would add — “seeking a reliable long-term partner might be advised to invest in an orchidometer,” a medical instrument designed for measuring balls.4. Penises can actually break
“Every year at least two hundred Americans, and thirty to forty Britons break their erect penis,” writes Hickman. Most do so during “violent intercourse.” But there are also cases where men snap their member — indeed, Hickman notes that such incidents are accompanied by an audible crack — by falling out of bed with an erection. The cure for a broken penis? Six weeks of bed rest with a penis splint.3. Masturbation panic popularized circumcision
King Louis XVI of France was circumcised because of a too-tight foreskin, which caused the procedure to become “fashionable among the aristocracy,” says Hickman. But “what made circumcision common among the proliferating nineteenth-century middle classes on both sides of the Atlantic was the hysteria about masturbation; removing the foreskin helped its prevention, doctors declared, and also cured bed-wetting and other conditions.”2. The Lorena Bobbitt effect
When Lorena Bobbitt cut off her husband’s penis, it spawned a “worldwide phenomenon,” says Hickman. “Across America, and from China to Peru, copycat cases began to occur, with Thailand becoming the epicenter: By the end of the millennium, over a hundred cases had been reported to Thai police, who admitted there were probably many more but the victims preferred to keep their loss to themselves.” Hickman reports cases of women feeding dismembered penises to farm-life and one wife in India who attached her husband’s severed member to a helium balloon.1. The world’s largest penis
The largest penis ever to be medically verified was 13.5 inches long and 6.25 inches in circumference. Just to put that in perspective, the average vagina is three to four inches deep.Reference:
What Women Want In A Penis
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| The Elusive "Green Weinie" |
Submitted by Verne
How do you measure up? Is your penis the style that is most sought after by women?
It Doesn’t Have To Be That Big
A woman’s g-spot is actually only about 2 inches into her vagina – therefore, the myth that men have to have a huge penis to give a woman an orgasm is just that – a myth. A penis can be satisfying to a woman and cause g-spot orgasms if it’s over 3″ long, however, the average penis size is about 5 inches. So in reality, most men are able to satisfy a woman with the equipment they’ve got.
A Prominent “Ridge”
Many girls will favor a prominent ridge where the head meets the shaft. If you follow this ridge around to the underside, you will see it curve upwards into an upside down “V.” When the shaft is erect, this ridge can get very swollen and when it is prominent, it will “catch” on the g-spot and stimulate it during sex. The ridge is much more prominent in circumcised men than uncircumcised men, because the foreskin that covers the head has been removed.
A Wide Head
Again, the head is where it’s at for a woman. This is what will stimulate her g-spot during sex and give her incredible orgasms. Although her g-spot isn’t very big, the wider the head of your penis is, the more it will rub up against it and stimulate it.
A Thick Shaft
The outside of the vagina, at the opening, is also a very sensitive area. You may have seen the rabbit style vibrators with the rotating beads – those are designed to massage and stimulate those sensitive nerves at the vaginal opening. If your penis is very thin, you’re not going to be able to rub up against the walls of her vagina very well. However, if you have a thicker shaft, you will automatically be causing friction and stimulating those hot spots.
If your penis is thin, it’s not the end of the world. Your sexual technique can compensate for it. Simply thrust your penis in a circular motion during sex instead of the straight in-and-out. It may take some practice to get this technique down pat, but it is well worth it. When doing using this technique, you’re going to rub up against every side of her vaginal walls, right where those pleasure spots are.
Slight Upward Curve
The g-spot is located on the top wall of the vagina, on the stomach side – not the butt side. So if your penis has a slight upward curve, it’s simply going to hit the g-spot even better. If your penis goes straight out, that’s not bad either. If your penis curves downward, you may want to experiment with different sex positions to find a way to stimulate her g-spot with your penis.
Doggy style is actually an excellent sex position to try if you want to stimulate her g-spot but your penis curves downwards. Some men have a penis that curves slightly to the left or right – this usually does not affect a woman sexually, unless you are long enough to stimulate her AFE Zone, which is much farther back than the g-spot.
Confidence (And Sexual Skill) Makes A Difference
No matter what your penis looks like, a girl isn’t going to get off with a weak, wimpy guy unless she has a dominant personality and that’s really her thing. Most women want to have sex with a guy that is confident in bed, confident about his body and confident that he can please a woman sexually. She doesn’t always want him asking permission to do everything. A girl wants to get down and dirty with an alpha male – no matter what his junk looks like.
Learn to work with what you’ve got. Study the female anatomy and learn where all the hot spots are. Learn different sex positions to use that help your anatomy mesh well with a woman’s. If you just don’t think you have a penis that will please a woman, brush up on your oral sex skills. Learn to give a woman squirting orgasms through oral sex and fingering and it’s almost guaranteed that she’s not going to care about your penis size, shape or color at all.
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| Sit On This |
10 Things She’s Secretly Thinking About Your Penis
Ah, the big reveal—that instant when you finally present her with your (ahem) package. But no matter how heated the moment, you can’t help but wonder: Is she carefully checking out the goods, and if so, do they pass inspection? That’s why we asked women to share their funniest, boldest, happiest, craziest, or most memorable reaction to a man’s penis. Sure, there was the occasional lady who says size matters, but mostly, you’ll find that you can probably relax. Because most women are just completely fascinated by what you’re packing down there…and excited about the impending delivery.“I've never seen that shade of purple on a human being before...but the color was just another sign of extreme arousal, so yes, it made a difference. In the best possible way.” —Deanna, 25
“There was this guy I went out with for a few months, and the moment I saw his penis, I noticed the head was so big it looked like a mushroom! I actually imagined a Smurf’s house. But surprisingly, it was the most pleasuring penis I've ever experienced. He worked that mushroom like magic!”
Stefani, 29
3. "Manscaping should be required! The penis looks much smaller when surrounded by so much shrubbery.”
Erin, 33
Maddie, 32
8. “Wow, that's a harsh left hook. Yes. That may make things very interesting.”
Nicole, 35
Taryn, 29
Stephanie, 32
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Penis Size Study Shows Women
Want One Thing For Flings, Another For Long Relationships
For one-night stands, size does matter, but it's not penis length that women are concerned about — it's girth, a new study suggests. In the study, 41 women viewed and handled penises made on a 3D printer. The models were blue, and ranged in size from 4 inches long and 2.5 inches in circumference to 8.5 inches long and 7 inches in circumference. They were asked to pick which of the 33 models they would prefer for a one-time partner, and which they would prefer for a long-term partner. For one night stands, women selected penis models with slightly larger girth, on average, than those they selected for long-term relationships.
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